Once Upon a Time I Figured Out How to Succeed in Theatre Without Really Trying

This post isn't about theatre. Except at the end. So it's been a year. What reminded me that I hadn't posted anything in a while was that I had another successful pi day, but then I realized that the last thing I wrote about was pi day so maybe a little catch up?

Highlight from each month since last March:

April: Had another awesome birthday with a beer fest in Breckenridge and a dinner with a couple of unexpected tequila shots that seemed like an okay idea at the time (it was my birthday!). Lesson learned: binging on chips/queso is not sufficient alone. Also the bearded man's ginger roommate and my glittery coworker found (and currently are still in) love. A good birthday all around.

May: All I can remember is that this month was super busy, but not because I was doing all sorts of cool and awesome things. SKIPPED.

June: We had a few more fires. Let's not talk about it. So over fires and natural disasters in general so here's to hoping 2014 is the year of no threatening disaster near where I live!

July: The month I had been waiting for my entire life. I LEFT THE COUNTRY! Work friend and I went to Paris for a few days over her birthday and apparently they love birthdays in Paris as much as we do because everyone celebrated and they even put on a fireworks show at the Eiffel Tower for us. People called it "Bastille Day" celebrations which means I also learned that Bastille is french for Work Friend. This may be the only new french word I learned because the rest of the time I would find myself trying to communicate in english with a bad french accent as though the other person would suddenly understand.
     "When does the next train come?"
     "..."
     "[cue bad accent] Ummm...le train? [point to watch]"
     "..."
Also the french men love work friend. They tell her that her dress is beautiful but mine, "eh, it is ok" and since France is supposed to be high on the fashion totem I was feeling pretty good about being "ok" by their standards. Then we went to England to visit old neighbor and then I had to be in a wedding in a castle. My life is hard. And fancy sometimes. I was also the tall white girl in the wedding party which I never thought would ever happen but Europe is just magical like that.

August: A dinosaur joint birthday party (TyDANoSARAHus Rex party) and football season started...or the season where the bearded man doesn't understand passion for a team because Colorado hasn't been good since the 90s. He does wear his Carolina shirt we bought so we do respect him for that. It must feel good to be able to cheer for a winning team!

September: Finally made it for a visit to Cool-umbia! Wonderful people, wonderful tailgaiting, and it was great to be home to watch a Gamecock victory. I will admit that I thought the bearded man would come back a full-on converted Gamecock fan...but he still wears the shirt so I'm trying not to hold it against him.

October: Sister and niece came for an impromptu weekend visit and it was the best thing ever and I continue to cement my status as coolest aunt because I know what 4 year olds like. Took the bearded man to Great American Beer Festival for his birthday present since I know what that man likes. It was a fun afternoon that ended with his parents driving down to be our DD...

November: We told them to fear the thumb. Then we squashed them with it. And there was much rejoicing.

December: Christmas with the fam is always entertaining...even before my dad pulls out the fart machine and my blind uncle starts sharing drunk wisdom.

January: We're #4! We're #4! And there was much rejoicing. All of the pow! All of the pow! And there was much rejoicing on the mountains.

February: Celebrated 10 years with my college BFFs at another college friend's wedding. My first visit to TX was not totally awful but I'm guessing that's because it was to Austin and not anywhere else.

And that brings us to March. I just finished in a play "The Adventures of Peter Rabbit and  His Friends" which was a lot of fun. Work friend did just bring to my attention however that I was credited in the program as a "Hair/Make Up Assistant" and she asked how did that happen. I was/am equally confused and amused since despite doing one girl's hair every night, the only other thing I can think of is the one time I tried to take over curling another girl's hair and it took 10min of wondering why each curl was less curly than the last for me to figure out that the iron wasn't even on. However those on the outside likely assume I was a useful assistant and for that I think I might have discovered How to Succeed in Theatre Without Really Trying.

Once Upon a Time There Were Thong Pants

I went home last weekend to VA to visit my family. A couple days before leaving I was texting with my mom and the conversation took a sudden weird turn. I posted this on facebook:



The blanked out part is the bearded man

She did try to explain, but I still wasn't exactly sure what she meant...and I was okay with that.



Then, alas, at home the mystery was solved. Those of you who don't know my father should know he is a precious 70yr old man who is as hilarious as he is oblivious at times. That being said, I present to you The Thong Pants.

My family's pretty special.

Once Upon a Time I Thought I Might Be a Guy Magnet

...except replace guy with natural disaster.

All I'm saying is the two springs when I lived in Hawaii we had tsunami scares. I move last winter, and was there a tsunami scare this past spring? (please note I'm using seasons for a frame of reference, not because Hawaii actually has seasons). Now I'm in Colorado and this is the year of the wildfires. Don't worry Californians, I am not planning to move out there. Y'all have enough smaller earthquakes already without me...not to mention I have no desire to put up with the ridiculous SEC vs.PAC 10 12 arguments (if you can call it that) much less deal with who the "real" USC is (it's South Carolina, by the way). One key difference is that the tsunamis never really turned into anything. This fire is definitely real.

 Let's time travel back to Saturday. After a fun night Friday including karaoke where I gave one of my more emotional performances of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and a few hours sleep, I woke up early to get my friend to the airport. Then I drove back to the Springs and got some Chick Fil A breakfast. I get home ready to sleep but then a new friend was all "wanna do a hike or the incline or something" and I'm all "sure! I haven't done the incline yet!" I blame it on the tired. The incline is a mile straight up where you gain 2000ft in elevation. It's like Koko Head in that it's all steps from rail ties. For whatever reason I thought it would be fun to attempt this on a day when we were well into the 80s by 8am and were on the track to set heat records (which I think it did). When we're driving I almost suggested that we go do the Waldo Canyon Loop instead (the only other hike I've done...a leisurely 7 mi loop with some good shade breaks along the way) but I decide to just buck up and face the stairway to heat exhaustion. On the way up the incline there was no fire, then on the way down there was. I know the fire started as the "Pyramid Mtn" fire and they evacuated the hikers safely out of Waldo Canyon but my black belt skills are (admittedly) a little rusty so facing a possible arsonist (they don't know for sure the cause, but it wasn't lightening and there have been arson-fires around) in hand-to-hand combat was just not something I needed to add to my plate. What has happened since is better seen through pictures.

***These pictures aren't mine. Snagged from facebook, more specifically from a Gazette page. Pictures are credited on the fb album.

Most Likely from Saturday, the first day

This picture is from a friend's fb,
but I don't like to use names on here so I'll call her M.

Looks like the incline...that stupid, stupid incline... 

On Tuesday evening, homes started to burn. I believe some belong to coworkers and other coworkers live nearby. 

I'm a couple miles from the mandatory evacuation line so have started to at least pack up some important items. I'm on the phone with my mom last night:

Me: Don't worry, I'm going to pack up important things like my birth certificate, passport, koozie collection and laptop

Mom: Stay safe, and oh! Bring that cute dress I send you too! You can't let that burn.

At least priorities are in check.

Needless to say the theme around here is pray. Pray for the firefighters (a co-worker's husband went to join the front lines last night). Pray for their families. Pray for the evacuees and that they are all safe because buildings can be rebuilt. Pray for the city/state/fed officials involved as they try to balance keeping us informed and endless inquiries all while still being responsible for managing/running a city. Pray for rain (sans wind).

Once Upon a Time I Wasn't Losing a Spunky Old Lady--I Was Gaining a Grandmother

Some conversations between me and my new adopted grandmother:

Me: Do you have any grandchildren?

Spunky Old Lady (SOL): Yes, 5.

Me: Do you like any of them?

SOL: ...uh..ummm...well....why do you ask?

Me: I was thinking that if the position of "favorite grandchild" was available, you should adopt me!

SOL: Well...sure! I can have 6 grandkids.

Me: Great!

...

SOL Grandmother: You know, I wanted to tell you about my one son who once told the doctor he was my favorite.

Me: It's okay for you to already have a favorite child, I'm your favorite grandchild. Don't think I didn't notice yesterday when you avoided my question regarding liking any of your first 5 grandchildren...

...

Grandmother: I saw a picture of [coworker's] dog and said it was ugly. I meant as in "cute ugly"...phew...I cleverly recovered from that one...

...

Me: Grandmother! You finally found my desk!

Grandmother: Yes, I realized I didn't know where you sat. I confused you with that blonde upstairs. What do you do, anyway?

Me: Accounting...right now preparing monthly reports for managers--

Grandmother: Interesting....anyway, there are three boxes of Girl Scout cookies on [coworker's] desk. Do you want to just to grab a box or do you want me to go take one and bring it to you?

Me: Oh, I'll go take one...I have no problem stealing a box of cookies from [coworker's] desk.

Grandmother: and that's why you're my granddaughter.


I haven't had a grandmother since 6th grade! My actual grandmother was a fabulous lady whom I loved dearly but I think she'd be OK with this adoption. Especially since I was her favorite, too (sister and/or brother: let's agree to disagree on that statement). Grandmother is quite a spitfire and so I know she'll keep me on my toes which is good. Also grandmother's timing is perfect since my own mother will not send me a surprise case of Girl Scout cookies this year. I know it isn't secretly on its way because my mom cannot keep secrets so I would've known by now. Unlessssss...my dad was sending me a case of Girl Scout cookies! But if that was the "case" (ha - get it!) I wouldn't find out about it because he'd forget he sent them to me...if he remembered to send them at all. Not to mention I have his sweet tooth so he's actually probably eating my case of Girl Scout cookies knowing that I'll assume he forgot to send them and forgive him.

Well played, dad.

Colorado Springs score: 4 (+1 for grandmothers!)