(Once Upon a Time ) Is Kayleigh a Liar?

Is Kayleigh a liar? Yes.


I created this post a few weeks ago to win an argument/prove a point on the Google. I kind of like that I could Google "Is Kayleigh a liar?" and it says yes. So I'm not taking it down. Instead, I'll expand.

Pretty simple, really. I like being right, but can admit when I'm wrong...but usually not after I try to use the internet to help me be right (the internet is the only thing I feel I can trust these days). I went through this phase where I would change a Wikipedia article almost daily for winning argument's sake. The key was to pick more obscure articles and change them and usually your updates would stay long enough to send the recipient the link with the message "read this ASAP or my hard work will have gone to waste!" It all started when I worked for a construction company and was emailing with one of the Project Managers I worked with: (paraphrasing from memory)

me: [something something about packing slips and their role with our documentation along with POs and Invoices]

him: [answers question about packing slips]...it's not rocket science.

me: Oh really? [inserts link to "Rocket Science" Wikipedia page where there is a sentence about Rocket Science also referring to the study of packing slips] Knowledge is power.

him: You're ridiculous.

Okay, so I could've just explained that in narrative form as I clearly am unable to recall enough to warrant it presented as a conversation. I'll remember that next time. Now you have to have to register for a log in or something to change Wikipedia. Sometimes technology really gets on my nerves.

Once Upon a Time I Survived My First Year

This is a couple weeks late but I did it. I made it my first year in Coldorado. How did I celebrate? I tried snowboarding! I bought a season pass and got a season gear rental so I knew I was going to force myself to go fall down a mountain at least 5 times this season so I could get my money's worth. (Because falling down a mountain is usually something people pay hundreds of dollars for). That, and I was really proud of how I bought all of my snowboarding clothes/things to keep me warm for less than $300. That's right. Thanks to Steep and Cheap and The Clymb and REI rewards cards I got quality stuff for way less than I anticipated! I should get paid for this.

I've been twice now to Keystone Resort and it has been...interesting. I have this pattern of getting really frustrated with myself in the morning and snapping at the boy handsome bearded man who is trying to teach me, then breaking for lunch and a beer, then having a more successful afternoon so I leave for the day feeling like I have a shot of actually being able to do this one day. Not to mention the bearded man has learned to keep a pocket full of treats (chocolate, gummy sharks and/or bears, etc.) to reward me when I do well or to comfort me when I suck. This weekend I am moving on from the magic carpet...although I will miss all of the adorable little kids learning how to ski/snowboard. They are seriously so cute, except for the one who seemed to always fly past me when I fell...I sensed he was judging me big time. Show off.

Oh - and I'm also proud to say that I attempted the chair lift last weekend and NAILED IT. I didn't fall getting off, and didn't chicken out and sit down on my board to slide down the little hill AND I didn't hit the people at the bottom (kind of like an obstacle course that I killed...in a good way). Afterwards I of course started double-fist pumping declaring myself champion of the beginner chair lift but the bearded man cut me off to be all "that's great, but you have to move out of the way of the person behind you." I just assumed he was jealous because of the attention I was getting from other people acknowledging my feat staring at me and it probably took him awhile to get the hang of chair lifts. They're tricky...especially if you haven't quite mastered the awkward glide with one foot strapped in...which I almost-ish have.

Ooh well it's my feeding time. I also learned some snowboarder phrases this weekend so maybe conversation tonight will lend itself to my using them because telling someone "I'm going to shred the gnar" and "slay some pow pow" will sound completely natural coming from me.

Once Upon a Time I FounsdfjsdkljfzzzZZZZzzz...sorry I fell asleep.

This will probably be scatterbrained because my medication should be wearing off and I have half a Chick Fil A chicken salad sandwich staring at me and because of said medication I can't decide if I'm hungry or not (my mind is telling me yes but my body is telling me no)....it is so confusing and I hate this because I love CFA and I know there are people in other places who can't have CFA on a whim (granted that whim isn't on Sunday) like Hawai'i so I shouldn't let it go to waste. This is a good enough reason for me to not do drugs. Except in this case if I don't do drugs I'll just fall asleep all day at work. I know that sounds awesome, but the people who fund my salary probably wouldn't think so. Maybe if I put together a really good powerpoint I can convince them...good thing I have drugs to keep me awake and alert to prepare said powerpoint.

The point is I have finally been diagnosed with narcolepsy. I typically wouldn't broadcast this on the internets, but anyone who has even been around me for a few short hours has picked up on my incredible almost super-power-like ability to fall asleep. Anywhere. Anytime.

In college I had a roommate who was diagnosed and immediately our other roommates assumed me to be the same way. The roommate (whom we affectionately referred to as "Narcy") and I had very similar habits and it wasn't until after her sleep study were other people all "something's wrong with your brain, too" and I was all "too much awesome? I don't see anything wrong with that" and they're all "it's not normal to fall asleep while under your bed when all you were doing was retrieving a shoe" and I was all "umm whatever, I'm going to take a quick 2hr nap."

In the next 5 years I continued to have the same issues but just dealt with it. I was tired of trying to explain to people what I was experiencing when certain symptoms were "flaring up" so to speak, but got a little annoyed when people would just respond with "yeah whatever, just sounds like laziness to me." The only people who seemed to really understand my struggle were people with similar focus/alertness issues such as ADD. I am a motivated person. I like to get things done. So it is extremely frustrating when my day is spent lying in bed 3-4 hours after I wake up because I don't even have the willpower to get up and pee no matter how bad I have to go, just to wake up, pee, walk downstairs and lay down "for a minute" on the sofa. A couple hours later, perhaps drifting in and out of TV shows (if the remote was within arms reach from the sofa) I'll get up, wanting to do something with my day. I would think about going to the beach (to nap, of course) but if I had to take the bus, even the thought of walking to the bus stop was enough to tire me out so I'd usually end up back on the sofa, angry with myself and wondering why I can't physically make myself clean my room like I had planned on. I wanted a clean room. It would be very easy too and not take much time at all. Just putting away clothes, taking some trash outside and vacuuming. But instead I was able to catch bits and pieces (when I wasn't asleep) of Sleepless in Seattle for the umpteenth time.

There were/are also times when I feel like I'm letting my friends down and for no good reason other than I just got tired. If I'm out and about and engaged, I'm usually good. Once I sit down after a day of work for 5 minutes, I'm done. If I start getting tired, it is a slippery slope and there is no coming out of it. I got pretty good and coming up with excuses to back out, then feeling crappy about it later. This was especially so if I missed an event celebrating a birthday or new job, etc.

I never felt depressed or anything. Just tired, and often times sleep would be physically irresistable and my ability to will myself to do anything was gone.

The past couple of months it has been especially tough. I was going entire weeks where I felt like I maybe did a couple hours worth of work total. This was not my nature and it was very frustrating. I always prided myself on how I never got stressed out and was able to maintain a cool head and cross of my to do list no matter how long. At first I refused to admit even to myself that something was wrong and I just kept up my usual routine of everything's great and always had a witty remark on hand. Every morning and even moreso, every afternoon around 3pm I would turn into a bobble head falling asleep at my desk and could not shake it. I would drink Mountain Dew, get 5-6 shots in my Starbucks, suck down candy hoping I would find something that would give me at least a burst of energy to get things done. None of this worked. I was not on top of things and this caused anxiety because I'm still new at this job and this was not the work ethic I boasted of when I interviewed for the position. Thankfully I have a great boss who I felt like I could at least try to explain what was going on and he was very gracious and understanding when I said I was going to go to a doctor to see if it can be figured out.

A blood test and sleep study later and I'm now on a stimulant to help get me through work (or long periods of driving). I didn't really know what to expect, but based on what I've read so far about the medication either my body is handling it well (despite the appetite thing...but we'll blame that on Henry my tapeworm) or I will require a higher dosage than "typical" for adults. It's just my first week so I'm still adjusting. I'm already seeing an improvement in my ability to stay alert and focused on what I'm doing. Whereas the medication does help me focus, I still get to choose what I focus on. A fingernail tears, and next thing you know, 10 minutes later I'm still shaping it and making sure it is the most smooth and even nail ever...even if it is now practically whittled down to the nub and I'm just going to chew on it later. I'm thinking I should just put a shiny object on my work tasks to keep bringing me back....

Okay, this wasn't meant to get serious but it did. It is funny to me that people's suspicions are "officially" true, and I'm just glad that I'm feeling more myself again--especially at work. I tried telling my boss that if I'm 5x as productive now that ought to translate to 5x my salary but he just laughed and said "uhhhh yeeahhh...let's talk about that later." which, sarcasm aside, isn't a definitive "NO" so I'm praying for that one in a million chance. I can feel my last pill wearing off since I'm yawning again and I finally ate the rest of the sandwich. So I'm gonna stop talking before I falsdlkfjsdlkjcfksdjlzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............

Colorado Springs score: 3 (+2 for fixing my brain!)

Once Upon a Time I Wasn't Losing a Spunky Old Lady--I Was Gaining a Grandmother

Some conversations between me and my new adopted grandmother:

Me: Do you have any grandchildren?

Spunky Old Lady (SOL): Yes, 5.

Me: Do you like any of them?

SOL: ...uh..ummm...well....why do you ask?

Me: I was thinking that if the position of "favorite grandchild" was available, you should adopt me!

SOL: Well...sure! I can have 6 grandkids.

Me: Great!

...

SOL Grandmother: You know, I wanted to tell you about my one son who once told the doctor he was my favorite.

Me: It's okay for you to already have a favorite child, I'm your favorite grandchild. Don't think I didn't notice yesterday when you avoided my question regarding liking any of your first 5 grandchildren...

...

Grandmother: I saw a picture of [coworker's] dog and said it was ugly. I meant as in "cute ugly"...phew...I cleverly recovered from that one...

...

Me: Grandmother! You finally found my desk!

Grandmother: Yes, I realized I didn't know where you sat. I confused you with that blonde upstairs. What do you do, anyway?

Me: Accounting...right now preparing monthly reports for managers--

Grandmother: Interesting....anyway, there are three boxes of Girl Scout cookies on [coworker's] desk. Do you want to just to grab a box or do you want me to go take one and bring it to you?

Me: Oh, I'll go take one...I have no problem stealing a box of cookies from [coworker's] desk.

Grandmother: and that's why you're my granddaughter.


I haven't had a grandmother since 6th grade! My actual grandmother was a fabulous lady whom I loved dearly but I think she'd be OK with this adoption. Especially since I was her favorite, too (sister and/or brother: let's agree to disagree on that statement). Grandmother is quite a spitfire and so I know she'll keep me on my toes which is good. Also grandmother's timing is perfect since my own mother will not send me a surprise case of Girl Scout cookies this year. I know it isn't secretly on its way because my mom cannot keep secrets so I would've known by now. Unlessssss...my dad was sending me a case of Girl Scout cookies! But if that was the "case" (ha - get it!) I wouldn't find out about it because he'd forget he sent them to me...if he remembered to send them at all. Not to mention I have his sweet tooth so he's actually probably eating my case of Girl Scout cookies knowing that I'll assume he forgot to send them and forgive him.

Well played, dad.

Colorado Springs score: 4 (+1 for grandmothers!)

Once Upon a Time, I Baptized My Desk...Again.

One time this happened:

The hot tea spill of Feb '12. I don't even like hot tea. Clearly it's mutual.

This was the first "major" incident. My work neighbor (she sits in the cube next to me and is the lucky recipient of an almost-daily pun inspired by findings on the free table. She will continue to receive these puns until she appreciates them and finds them...punny! Because we all know puns are funny, especially when you have to explain them) then reminded me that the last few times I spilled on myself I was wearing the same gr(e/a)y pants. I love those pants so I guess spillage is an assumed risk when I wear them, I just wish I remembered this so I could also remember to wear darker shirts with them instead of my favorite white sweater.

Ever since, spilling on myself has been more frequent and less-discriminatory based on what pants/sweater combo I'm wearing at the time (since NONE of my winter-appropriate skirts/dresses pass dress code ... but I'm over it, really...). I even filled up my University of South Carolina (GO COCKS!) travel mug, closed the lid, and walked it to my desk with two hands...but I guess I should've "locked" the air hole thing because somehow my coffee/hot chocolate mix jumped up through the blow air hole and onto my new vest. (Yes, I'm wearing vests now which is so CO of me).

Then there's today. Lady comes to water plant in work neighbor's desk, but said plant is unstable and is thus knocked over into my cubicle (I'm pretty sure work neighbor staged it that way, but I have no proof). Work neighbor and I laugh WITH lady because it isn't her fault (since it is work neighbor's fault) then I manage to do this:

Ignore the baby wearing a hat on my screen--work neighbor
is responsible for that. But I will take this opportunity to tell
you to put a hat on your damn baby when it's 30 degrees outside.

At least this time it was water (although I'm pretty sure electronics don't care what type of liquid it is...). Luckily I still had the hand towel I took from the kitchen thrown under my desk so it was able to come to the rescue. Work neighbor noted how I seemed to have this regular ritual of baptising my desk. Upon saying this, I realized this makes great sense. I screwed up the baptism before by using hot tea instead of water. Everyone knows it would be ridiculous to do a baptism by hot-tea submersion because hot tea is disgusting and you wouldn't want to risk accidentally ingesting some of it. Now that I think about it though, for the sprinkle-baptism hot tea might be a better choice because isn't it supposed to be good for your hair? (Or it contains mercury...I feel like most products fall into one of these two categories. I just wish I could remember which one. In the meantime, I'll keep washing my hair with old lead-based paint I found and mixed with dishwashing soap that I kept in an original nalgene bottle.) I guess if you were an infant you wouldn't have much hair (if any) so this point would be moot. Alrighty, decision made: I still think water is the way to go.

I know this is the type of adventurous activity that mom wanted to read about on this blog. I did go rock climbing for the first time, but this just seemed more interesting to write about. Also, I'm on some drugs for my stuffy nose/face/head from whatever I caught on the plane back from NY last weekend.

Also: I didn't spill on myself nearly as much when I lived in Hawai'i...just sayin'...

And because of that: Colorado Springs score: 1 (-1 from the last snow...which I should take away that point because we didn't get a snow day).

Updated Colorado Springs score: 3 (even though I didn't write about it, rock climbing in Buena Vista was pretty fun and I've enjoyed going to the climbing gym in the springs since so I'll give it a +2).

Once Upon aTime Colorado Actually Did Something Right

It's snowing right now. Like, a lot. Soon it'll start looking like this:

I'm so excited. I know you're thinking but Kayleigh, you don't like the cold and don't care much for the snow because snow is often closely related to cold...and I say "mostly" because when you visited Harry Potter world in Orlando last week they had snow on the roofs of the shops of Hogsmeade but it was still 70 degrees outside which is your kind of snow conditions.

Well, I have to accept that it is going to snow in Colorado. Until I am able to hit the slopes on my journey of transforming from awesome surfer chick to even more awesome snowboarder chick (it's a new concept for a movie that I want to pitch...people will be drawn in as I struggle with my new environment, surrounded by haoles who think me and my hawaiian ways are weird, and I'm going to have dad issues that will be resolved by a tearful moment where we have no choice but to pull together because we're family and that's what's important. But don't take my word for it!) I'm not going to be the biggest fan. Except this time.

This is probably the most perfectly timed snowfall I've ever experienced. We're all pretty much banking on a snow day tomorrow. I haven't had a 5 day work week since maybe mid-December. Last week was a 1 day work week, and this week has been dragging and I blame it on the fact that I'm expected to show up every single day. These "regular" work weeks have got to be eased into. So, tomorrow I'm really hoping I can stay curled up on my air matress for a couple extra hours no matter how badly I need to pee or want cheez-its. (note to self: keep cheez-its in arms reach of air matress tonight).

Second, I didn't have any real plans this weekend for snow to interfere with! Sure, it would've been nice to get a hike in or set up camp at the movie theatre to be first in line for the next Twilight movie (spoiler alert: apparently Gandolf has an exclusive club of friends and he won't let Hagrid come hang unless he does the truffle shuffle!) Next weekend I'm going to hang in Buena Vista in the mountains, so lots of snow would suck then. This weekend however I was hoping to be motivated to get some stuff done around the apartment and if snow keeps me at home and I have yet to get appropriate snow apparel to play in it then I'll have no choice but to stay inside and catch up on my shows on Hulu  get my "to do" list done.

I also managed to go grocery shopping last night so I even have food to eat. The dog dodged a bullet there. (kidding...the dog doesn't seem to have much meat on him so I think it'd hardly be worth the effort) (but seriously, I love dogs. Not in the "I love to eat dogs" kind of way...you get what I'm trying to say)

Basically the point of this rambling: where can I pick up some flavored syrups so I can set up an Ono Shave Ice stand once we get all of this snow? I hear organic is really in...and what's more organic than a cone filled with snow from heaven itself? And it's cheaper than Whole Foods.

Colorado Springs score: 2 (I never thought I'd give promerits for snow this early in the game. Well played, Springs)