Cell phones are great because they automatically update for you when you change time zones. $10 Bed Bath and Beyond clocks are not great because they don't do anything but confuse you when trying to set either one or both of the alarms and don't come with Scramble With Friends.
One morning after the recent time change I forgot to set my phone alarm (because I'm too stupid to figure out my clock alarm). I wake up, look at the clock and panic because I was supposed to be at work an hour ago. (I try really hard to only be late 30 min. max) While brushing my teeth in a frenzy, I glance at my phone to see it is in fact an hour earlier and I was only supposed to be at work 10 min ago (phew!). I forgot that I never changed my room clock for Daylight Savings.
Next morning I forgot to set my phone alarm. I wake up, look at the clock and smile because I can sleep a few more minutes and take my time getting ready. While brushing my teeth in a calm, relaxed manner I glance at my phone to see it is in fact an hour later and I am late again. I forgot that I had corrected my room clock after the previous panic.
DST: 2
Kayleigh: 0
When I get home I'm making a sign that says "this clock is correct." I just hope I remember to take it down after the next time change.
The only other exciting thing happening right now is that my snowboard clothes are in. When I tried on my jacket for a seasoned snowboarder so he can make sure the fit is right, he moved my arms in a flailing motion to make sure I had room to flail/fall since it will be happening. A lot. What a clever seasoned snowboarder.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Once Upon a Time I Realized There Are Still Four Seasons
I grew up in Virginia. Virginia is a great state commonwealth. You have the mountains, beach, and four seasons that rotate on a pretty regular 3-month schedule for the most part. I knew this to be fact for the first 18 years of my life.
I went to school and worked for a bit in South Carolina. More specifically, Columbia. Home of my beloved Gamecocks in the fabulous south. About a year-ish before I left they changed the slogan to "Famously Hot" which everyone who has lived there or driven through in July/August knows is just a nice (southern) way of saying the "Armpit of the South" Sigh. That armpit was my home for 5 years and I loved it. Shorts/t-shirts until December, then sporatic for a couple months until March when they were back in season for good? Yes, please. I'm a warm weather gal and didn't miss fall/spring too much to be honest. There was beach season and the season-that-must-not-be-named in my book.
So 5 years later I up and move to Hawai'i to pursue my dream of weathergirl. After discovering there isn't much challenge to memorizing "Highs in the 80s and Lows in the 70s with a chance of some light scattered showers" all year so I moved on from that dream. Hawai'i weather was perfect year round except for the couple of winter months when I needed to make sure I brought a long sleeve tshirt with me because 70 degrees at night with a slight breeze can be chilly. Summer year round was also great on the wardrobe and budget since I knew my clothes would be in season all the time. No questions as to how warmly I needed to dress in the morning before work. Just sifting through the cleanest pile of clothes and hoping that I didn't wear the same outfit already that week although to be honest none of my coworkers would've noticed. Except one for sure. But she's great and would just laugh at me then tell me to sit down while she straightened my hair because we had a work function that evening and I needed to be presentable.
Well now I've been in Colorado for 10 months and this month (especially the past week or two) has confirmed something that had become more of a myth. Seasons are still here. All of them. This month I was shocked to discover that autumn/fall was still a "thing." By this point, I had just assumed that fall no longer existed and it was merely a "Starbucks (long) holiday" to give reason for bringing back the pumpkin spice latte (PSL because I'm hip) so everyone can post pictures to facebook/instagram/bathroom stalls of their Starbucks cup (allegedly) full of PSL or other fall specialty drink. Yes I love colorful leaves and pumpking anything as much as the next person (unless the next person doesn't like those things, then the next next person...unless that pers--you get the idea...I'm just glad I caught myself before it got out of control) but there are still things that I'm not the hugest fan of.
I went to school and worked for a bit in South Carolina. More specifically, Columbia. Home of my beloved Gamecocks in the fabulous south. About a year-ish before I left they changed the slogan to "Famously Hot" which everyone who has lived there or driven through in July/August knows is just a nice (southern) way of saying the "Armpit of the South" Sigh. That armpit was my home for 5 years and I loved it. Shorts/t-shirts until December, then sporatic for a couple months until March when they were back in season for good? Yes, please. I'm a warm weather gal and didn't miss fall/spring too much to be honest. There was beach season and the season-that-must-not-be-named in my book.
So 5 years later I up and move to Hawai'i to pursue my dream of weathergirl. After discovering there isn't much challenge to memorizing "Highs in the 80s and Lows in the 70s with a chance of some light scattered showers" all year so I moved on from that dream. Hawai'i weather was perfect year round except for the couple of winter months when I needed to make sure I brought a long sleeve tshirt with me because 70 degrees at night with a slight breeze can be chilly. Summer year round was also great on the wardrobe and budget since I knew my clothes would be in season all the time. No questions as to how warmly I needed to dress in the morning before work. Just sifting through the cleanest pile of clothes and hoping that I didn't wear the same outfit already that week although to be honest none of my coworkers would've noticed. Except one for sure. But she's great and would just laugh at me then tell me to sit down while she straightened my hair because we had a work function that evening and I needed to be presentable.
Well now I've been in Colorado for 10 months and this month (especially the past week or two) has confirmed something that had become more of a myth. Seasons are still here. All of them. This month I was shocked to discover that autumn/fall was still a "thing." By this point, I had just assumed that fall no longer existed and it was merely a "Starbucks (long) holiday" to give reason for bringing back the pumpkin spice latte (PSL because I'm hip) so everyone can post pictures to facebook/instagram/bathroom stalls of their Starbucks cup (allegedly) full of PSL or other fall specialty drink. Yes I love colorful leaves and pumpking anything as much as the next person (unless the next person doesn't like those things, then the next next person...unless that pers--you get the idea...I'm just glad I caught myself before it got out of control) but there are still things that I'm not the hugest fan of.
Autumn is just one giant Catch-22 for me it seems.
I love the colorful leaves and raking them into piles to jump in....but I don't love being itchy afterwards with a side of asthma.
I love being able to wear scarves and perhaps even a vest/cardigan...but I don't love how confused my wardrobe gets since I don't have room in my closet for all of my clothes and have to trade out based on seasons...cold in the morning, warm during the day, cold at night? Anyone who knows me knows what can happen to a perfectly cute matching outfit when I get it in my head that I know how to layer.
I love being toasty warm in my car because of the heat...but I don't love that I'M USING HEAT IN MY CAR IN SEPTEMBER.
I love pumpkin carving...but I don't love when someone looks at my lit up (amateur) carving of a Marcus Lattimore jersey and asks "what is that?"
I love pumpkin spice lattes...but I don't love how often it doesn't get stirred so it's all latte at the top and all the pumpkin is at the bottom and it's too sweet for me to even know where the spice comes in.
I love seeing the snow cap on Pike's Peak...but I don't love--oh shit. That means winter is next, isn't it? I just purchased my ski pass so I can learn what all this hype is about snow on mountains but it was also not cheap so I can't afford any Christmas gifts. Consider my learning to snowboard your gift because if all goes well it will mean less rides for me on the winter/snow complain-train.
Alrighty, time to suck it up Hudson. The weather is getting cold. You knew this would happen. You will become Colorado tough. Remember how last night it was in the 50s and you didn't put on your fleece pullover? That's because you're tough. You can survive what people say will be a make-up winter for the "mild" one you experienced last year.
Alright, put me in coach...into hibernation where I can snuggle up in my bed and not come out until spring.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Once Upon a Time I Thought I Might Be a Guy Magnet
...except replace guy with natural disaster.
All I'm saying is the two springs when I lived in Hawaii we had tsunami scares. I move last winter, and was there a tsunami scare this past spring? (please note I'm using seasons for a frame of reference, not because Hawaii actually has seasons). Now I'm in Colorado and this is the year of the wildfires. Don't worry Californians, I am not planning to move out there. Y'all have enough smaller earthquakes already without me...not to mention I have no desire to put up with the ridiculous SEC vs.PAC10 12 arguments (if you can call it that) much less deal with who the "real" USC is (it's South Carolina, by the way).
One key difference is that the tsunamis never really turned into anything. This fire is definitely real.
Let's time travel back to Saturday. After a fun night Friday including karaoke where I gave one of my more emotional performances of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and a few hours sleep, I woke up early to get my friend to the airport. Then I drove back to the Springs and got some Chick Fil A breakfast. I get home ready to sleep but then a new friend was all "wanna do a hike or the incline or something" and I'm all "sure! I haven't done the incline yet!" I blame it on the tired. The incline is a mile straight up where you gain 2000ft in elevation. It's like Koko Head in that it's all steps from rail ties. For whatever reason I thought it would be fun to attempt this on a day when we were well into the 80s by 8am and were on the track to set heat records (which I think it did). When we're driving I almost suggested that we go do the Waldo Canyon Loop instead (the only other hike I've done...a leisurely 7 mi loop with some good shade breaks along the way) but I decide to just buck up and face the stairway to heat exhaustion. On the way up the incline there was no fire, then on the way down there was. I know the fire started as the "Pyramid Mtn" fire and they evacuated the hikers safely out of Waldo Canyon but my black belt skills are (admittedly) a little rusty so facing a possible arsonist (they don't know for sure the cause, but it wasn't lightening and there have been arson-fires around) in hand-to-hand combat was just not something I needed to add to my plate. What has happened since is better seen through pictures.
***These pictures aren't mine. Snagged from facebook, more specifically from a Gazette page. Pictures are credited on the fb album.
I'm a couple miles from the mandatory evacuation line so have started to at least pack up some important items. I'm on the phone with my mom last night:
Me: Don't worry, I'm going to pack up important things like my birth certificate, passport, koozie collection and laptop
Mom: Stay safe, and oh! Bring that cute dress I send you too! You can't let that burn.
At least priorities are in check.
Needless to say the theme around here is pray. Pray for the firefighters (a co-worker's husband went to join the front lines last night). Pray for their families. Pray for the evacuees and that they are all safe because buildings can be rebuilt. Pray for the city/state/fed officials involved as they try to balance keeping us informed and endless inquiries all while still being responsible for managing/running a city. Pray for rain (sans wind).
All I'm saying is the two springs when I lived in Hawaii we had tsunami scares. I move last winter, and was there a tsunami scare this past spring? (please note I'm using seasons for a frame of reference, not because Hawaii actually has seasons). Now I'm in Colorado and this is the year of the wildfires. Don't worry Californians, I am not planning to move out there. Y'all have enough smaller earthquakes already without me...not to mention I have no desire to put up with the ridiculous SEC vs.PAC
Let's time travel back to Saturday. After a fun night Friday including karaoke where I gave one of my more emotional performances of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and a few hours sleep, I woke up early to get my friend to the airport. Then I drove back to the Springs and got some Chick Fil A breakfast. I get home ready to sleep but then a new friend was all "wanna do a hike or the incline or something" and I'm all "sure! I haven't done the incline yet!" I blame it on the tired. The incline is a mile straight up where you gain 2000ft in elevation. It's like Koko Head in that it's all steps from rail ties. For whatever reason I thought it would be fun to attempt this on a day when we were well into the 80s by 8am and were on the track to set heat records (which I think it did). When we're driving I almost suggested that we go do the Waldo Canyon Loop instead (the only other hike I've done...a leisurely 7 mi loop with some good shade breaks along the way) but I decide to just buck up and face the stairway to heat exhaustion. On the way up the incline there was no fire, then on the way down there was. I know the fire started as the "Pyramid Mtn" fire and they evacuated the hikers safely out of Waldo Canyon but my black belt skills are (admittedly) a little rusty so facing a possible arsonist (they don't know for sure the cause, but it wasn't lightening and there have been arson-fires around) in hand-to-hand combat was just not something I needed to add to my plate. What has happened since is better seen through pictures.
***These pictures aren't mine. Snagged from facebook, more specifically from a Gazette page. Pictures are credited on the fb album.
 |
| Most Likely from Saturday, the first day |
 |
| This picture is from a friend's fb, but I don't like to use names on here so I'll call her M. |
 |
| Looks like the incline...that stupid, stupid incline... |
 |
| On Tuesday evening, homes started to burn. I believe some belong to coworkers and other coworkers live nearby. |
I'm a couple miles from the mandatory evacuation line so have started to at least pack up some important items. I'm on the phone with my mom last night:
Me: Don't worry, I'm going to pack up important things like my birth certificate, passport, koozie collection and laptop
Mom: Stay safe, and oh! Bring that cute dress I send you too! You can't let that burn.
At least priorities are in check.
Needless to say the theme around here is pray. Pray for the firefighters (a co-worker's husband went to join the front lines last night). Pray for their families. Pray for the evacuees and that they are all safe because buildings can be rebuilt. Pray for the city/state/fed officials involved as they try to balance keeping us informed and endless inquiries all while still being responsible for managing/running a city. Pray for rain (sans wind).
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Once Upon a Time I Was Reminded that I Don't Understand Fashion
Another fabulous girls weekend is in the books for me and the college BFFs. This year we went to California to visit the BFF who I lived with all 4 years of college then some until she got married. It was sad when she was moving out. It kind of felt like a break up as we were trying to figure out who actually owned what movies (we developed quite the collection) or who gets to take the needlepoint hanging we bought at Goodwill because we didn't really know how to decorate walls with nice stuff. And we told people my grandmother made it so they'd feel bad if they laughed at it. Ahhh memories.
Well we were going to hang in San Francisco one day. One stop on the docket was the mission district so the stylish NY friend could get her fill of hipsters. Stylish NY friend and photography friend were on top of their wardrobes and wore their skinny jeans and flats/boots (respectively). Since (I think) I know what's "on trend" after 6 months on the mainland, I decide to wear my skinny jeans too. I still don't own boots for them because I just don't think my feet/calves can handle it (that's a different story) but I figured my slippahs would work just fine.
We get out of the car in San Fran and I noticed something subtle, but different between my skinny jeans and the 2349834987 other people around wearing them. Mine didn't hug my leg all the way down. Starting around the knee, mine just sort of went straight down. I didn't want my BFFs to know that I was just realizing this (not to mention one BFFs 5mo baby was with us and I'm pretty sure I nailed my "cool aunt" first impression and didn't want to ruin that) so I played it off in conversation:
me: [...]yeah there was the time when I realized that what I thought was my obligatory pair of skinny jeans weren't actually skinny jeans....what do you call the jeans I'm wearing? I'm pretty sure it's boot cut.
stylish NY friend: those are straight leg.
me: yeah I wouldn't ever wear boots with these. How embarassing (note to self: NEVER admit to tucking these straight leg jeans into those cheap snow boots you bought that came to a weird, non-in-style height)
Needless to say I did not blend in with the hipsters, at all.
Now I have Googled "are straight leg jeans in style" and can't get a straight answer. (I love puns! Especially unintended ones! I went back and italicized it once I realized what I did there). All that comes up are ads for Chicos, JC Penneys, and some of those "cool mom" blogs where the mom is all "I refuse to wear mom jeans! I wear straight leg!" Apparently a lot of moms wear straight leg as an anti-mom jean movement but I ask you this:
If moms are all wearing straight leg, does that make straight leg jeans the new mom jean?! I kind of think so.
Ugghhh...my go to pair of jeans are mom jeans. Of course I discover this right after I was assured that it's ok to buy clothes with a Talbots label even though I'm only mid 20s and not a mom or married.
Well we were going to hang in San Francisco one day. One stop on the docket was the mission district so the stylish NY friend could get her fill of hipsters. Stylish NY friend and photography friend were on top of their wardrobes and wore their skinny jeans and flats/boots (respectively). Since (I think) I know what's "on trend" after 6 months on the mainland, I decide to wear my skinny jeans too. I still don't own boots for them because I just don't think my feet/calves can handle it (that's a different story) but I figured my slippahs would work just fine.
We get out of the car in San Fran and I noticed something subtle, but different between my skinny jeans and the 2349834987 other people around wearing them. Mine didn't hug my leg all the way down. Starting around the knee, mine just sort of went straight down. I didn't want my BFFs to know that I was just realizing this (not to mention one BFFs 5mo baby was with us and I'm pretty sure I nailed my "cool aunt" first impression and didn't want to ruin that) so I played it off in conversation:
me: [...]yeah there was the time when I realized that what I thought was my obligatory pair of skinny jeans weren't actually skinny jeans....what do you call the jeans I'm wearing? I'm pretty sure it's boot cut.
stylish NY friend: those are straight leg.
me: yeah I wouldn't ever wear boots with these. How embarassing (note to self: NEVER admit to tucking these straight leg jeans into those cheap snow boots you bought that came to a weird, non-in-style height)
Needless to say I did not blend in with the hipsters, at all.
Now I have Googled "are straight leg jeans in style" and can't get a straight answer. (I love puns! Especially unintended ones! I went back and italicized it once I realized what I did there). All that comes up are ads for Chicos, JC Penneys, and some of those "cool mom" blogs where the mom is all "I refuse to wear mom jeans! I wear straight leg!" Apparently a lot of moms wear straight leg as an anti-mom jean movement but I ask you this:
If moms are all wearing straight leg, does that make straight leg jeans the new mom jean?! I kind of think so.
Ugghhh...my go to pair of jeans are mom jeans. Of course I discover this right after I was assured that it's ok to buy clothes with a Talbots label even though I'm only mid 20s and not a mom or married.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Once Upon a Time I FounsdfjsdkljfzzzZZZZzzz...sorry I fell asleep.
This will probably be scatterbrained because my medication should be wearing off and I have half a Chick Fil A chicken salad sandwich staring at me and because of said medication I can't decide if I'm hungry or not (my mind is telling me yes but my body is telling me no)....it is so confusing and I hate this because I love CFA and I know there are people in other places who can't have CFA on a whim (granted that whim isn't on Sunday) like Hawai'i so I shouldn't let it go to waste. This is a good enough reason for me to not do drugs. Except in this case if I don't do drugs I'll just fall asleep all day at work. I know that sounds awesome, but the people who fund my salary probably wouldn't think so. Maybe if I put together a really good powerpoint I can convince them...good thing I have drugs to keep me awake and alert to prepare said powerpoint.
The point is I have finally been diagnosed with narcolepsy. I typically wouldn't broadcast this on the internets, but anyone who has even been around me for a few short hours has picked up on my incredible almost super-power-like ability to fall asleep. Anywhere. Anytime.
In college I had a roommate who was diagnosed and immediately our other roommates assumed me to be the same way. The roommate (whom we affectionately referred to as "Narcy") and I had very similar habits and it wasn't until after her sleep study were other people all "something's wrong with your brain, too" and I was all "too much awesome? I don't see anything wrong with that" and they're all "it's not normal to fall asleep while under your bed when all you were doing was retrieving a shoe" and I was all "umm whatever, I'm going to take a quick 2hr nap."
In the next 5 years I continued to have the same issues but just dealt with it. I was tired of trying to explain to people what I was experiencing when certain symptoms were "flaring up" so to speak, but got a little annoyed when people would just respond with "yeah whatever, just sounds like laziness to me." The only people who seemed to really understand my struggle were people with similar focus/alertness issues such as ADD. I am a motivated person. I like to get things done. So it is extremely frustrating when my day is spent lying in bed 3-4 hours after I wake up because I don't even have the willpower to get up and pee no matter how bad I have to go, just to wake up, pee, walk downstairs and lay down "for a minute" on the sofa. A couple hours later, perhaps drifting in and out of TV shows (if the remote was within arms reach from the sofa) I'll get up, wanting to do something with my day. I would think about going to the beach (to nap, of course) but if I had to take the bus, even the thought of walking to the bus stop was enough to tire me out so I'd usually end up back on the sofa, angry with myself and wondering why I can't physically make myself clean my room like I had planned on. I wanted a clean room. It would be very easy too and not take much time at all. Just putting away clothes, taking some trash outside and vacuuming. But instead I was able to catch bits and pieces (when I wasn't asleep) of Sleepless in Seattle for the umpteenth time.
There were/are also times when I feel like I'm letting my friends down and for no good reason other than I just got tired. If I'm out and about and engaged, I'm usually good. Once I sit down after a day of work for 5 minutes, I'm done. If I start getting tired, it is a slippery slope and there is no coming out of it. I got pretty good and coming up with excuses to back out, then feeling crappy about it later. This was especially so if I missed an event celebrating a birthday or new job, etc.
I never felt depressed or anything. Just tired, and often times sleep would be physically irresistable and my ability to will myself to do anything was gone.
The past couple of months it has been especially tough. I was going entire weeks where I felt like I maybe did a couple hours worth of work total. This was not my nature and it was very frustrating. I always prided myself on how I never got stressed out and was able to maintain a cool head and cross of my to do list no matter how long. At first I refused to admit even to myself that something was wrong and I just kept up my usual routine of everything's great and always had a witty remark on hand. Every morning and even moreso, every afternoon around 3pm I would turn into a bobble head falling asleep at my desk and could not shake it. I would drink Mountain Dew, get 5-6 shots in my Starbucks, suck down candy hoping I would find something that would give me at least a burst of energy to get things done. None of this worked. I was not on top of things and this caused anxiety because I'm still new at this job and this was not the work ethic I boasted of when I interviewed for the position. Thankfully I have a great boss who I felt like I could at least try to explain what was going on and he was very gracious and understanding when I said I was going to go to a doctor to see if it can be figured out.
A blood test and sleep study later and I'm now on a stimulant to help get me through work (or long periods of driving). I didn't really know what to expect, but based on what I've read so far about the medication either my body is handling it well (despite the appetite thing...but we'll blame that on Henry my tapeworm) or I will require a higher dosage than "typical" for adults. It's just my first week so I'm still adjusting. I'm already seeing an improvement in my ability to stay alert and focused on what I'm doing. Whereas the medication does help me focus, I still get to choose what I focus on. A fingernail tears, and next thing you know, 10 minutes later I'm still shaping it and making sure it is the most smooth and even nail ever...even if it is now practically whittled down to the nub and I'm just going to chew on it later. I'm thinking I should just put a shiny object on my work tasks to keep bringing me back....
Okay, this wasn't meant to get serious but it did. It is funny to me that people's suspicions are "officially" true, and I'm just glad that I'm feeling more myself again--especially at work. I tried telling my boss that if I'm 5x as productive now that ought to translate to 5x my salary but he just laughed and said "uhhhh yeeahhh...let's talk about that later." which, sarcasm aside, isn't a definitive "NO" so I'm praying for that one in a million chance. I can feel my last pill wearing off since I'm yawning again and I finally ate the rest of the sandwich. So I'm gonna stop talking before I falsdlkfjsdlkjcfksdjlzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............
Colorado Springs score: 3 (+2 for fixing my brain!)
The point is I have finally been diagnosed with narcolepsy. I typically wouldn't broadcast this on the internets, but anyone who has even been around me for a few short hours has picked up on my incredible almost super-power-like ability to fall asleep. Anywhere. Anytime.
In college I had a roommate who was diagnosed and immediately our other roommates assumed me to be the same way. The roommate (whom we affectionately referred to as "Narcy") and I had very similar habits and it wasn't until after her sleep study were other people all "something's wrong with your brain, too" and I was all "too much awesome? I don't see anything wrong with that" and they're all "it's not normal to fall asleep while under your bed when all you were doing was retrieving a shoe" and I was all "umm whatever, I'm going to take a quick 2hr nap."
In the next 5 years I continued to have the same issues but just dealt with it. I was tired of trying to explain to people what I was experiencing when certain symptoms were "flaring up" so to speak, but got a little annoyed when people would just respond with "yeah whatever, just sounds like laziness to me." The only people who seemed to really understand my struggle were people with similar focus/alertness issues such as ADD. I am a motivated person. I like to get things done. So it is extremely frustrating when my day is spent lying in bed 3-4 hours after I wake up because I don't even have the willpower to get up and pee no matter how bad I have to go, just to wake up, pee, walk downstairs and lay down "for a minute" on the sofa. A couple hours later, perhaps drifting in and out of TV shows (if the remote was within arms reach from the sofa) I'll get up, wanting to do something with my day. I would think about going to the beach (to nap, of course) but if I had to take the bus, even the thought of walking to the bus stop was enough to tire me out so I'd usually end up back on the sofa, angry with myself and wondering why I can't physically make myself clean my room like I had planned on. I wanted a clean room. It would be very easy too and not take much time at all. Just putting away clothes, taking some trash outside and vacuuming. But instead I was able to catch bits and pieces (when I wasn't asleep) of Sleepless in Seattle for the umpteenth time.
There were/are also times when I feel like I'm letting my friends down and for no good reason other than I just got tired. If I'm out and about and engaged, I'm usually good. Once I sit down after a day of work for 5 minutes, I'm done. If I start getting tired, it is a slippery slope and there is no coming out of it. I got pretty good and coming up with excuses to back out, then feeling crappy about it later. This was especially so if I missed an event celebrating a birthday or new job, etc.
I never felt depressed or anything. Just tired, and often times sleep would be physically irresistable and my ability to will myself to do anything was gone.
The past couple of months it has been especially tough. I was going entire weeks where I felt like I maybe did a couple hours worth of work total. This was not my nature and it was very frustrating. I always prided myself on how I never got stressed out and was able to maintain a cool head and cross of my to do list no matter how long. At first I refused to admit even to myself that something was wrong and I just kept up my usual routine of everything's great and always had a witty remark on hand. Every morning and even moreso, every afternoon around 3pm I would turn into a bobble head falling asleep at my desk and could not shake it. I would drink Mountain Dew, get 5-6 shots in my Starbucks, suck down candy hoping I would find something that would give me at least a burst of energy to get things done. None of this worked. I was not on top of things and this caused anxiety because I'm still new at this job and this was not the work ethic I boasted of when I interviewed for the position. Thankfully I have a great boss who I felt like I could at least try to explain what was going on and he was very gracious and understanding when I said I was going to go to a doctor to see if it can be figured out.
A blood test and sleep study later and I'm now on a stimulant to help get me through work (or long periods of driving). I didn't really know what to expect, but based on what I've read so far about the medication either my body is handling it well (despite the appetite thing...but we'll blame that on Henry my tapeworm) or I will require a higher dosage than "typical" for adults. It's just my first week so I'm still adjusting. I'm already seeing an improvement in my ability to stay alert and focused on what I'm doing. Whereas the medication does help me focus, I still get to choose what I focus on. A fingernail tears, and next thing you know, 10 minutes later I'm still shaping it and making sure it is the most smooth and even nail ever...even if it is now practically whittled down to the nub and I'm just going to chew on it later. I'm thinking I should just put a shiny object on my work tasks to keep bringing me back....
Okay, this wasn't meant to get serious but it did. It is funny to me that people's suspicions are "officially" true, and I'm just glad that I'm feeling more myself again--especially at work. I tried telling my boss that if I'm 5x as productive now that ought to translate to 5x my salary but he just laughed and said "uhhhh yeeahhh...let's talk about that later." which, sarcasm aside, isn't a definitive "NO" so I'm praying for that one in a million chance. I can feel my last pill wearing off since I'm yawning again and I finally ate the rest of the sandwich. So I'm gonna stop talking before I falsdlkfjsdlkjcfksdjlzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............
Colorado Springs score: 3 (+2 for fixing my brain!)
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Once Upon a Time It Was "The Birds" All Over Again...almost...sort of
So I hate scary movies...even the ones that are supposed to be scary but everyone's all "whatever it wasn't scary." That being said, I've never actually watched Hitchcock's The Birds and have no intention of doing so. I do however know the premise of this movie and it scares the shit out of me.
Remember when I was getting all happy about the weather warming up? Well apparently in Colorado I'm not the only one who loves it. Moths apparently do, too. Saturday night I get home late and am exhausted, ready to climb into my bed when I turn on the light in my room and a SWARM of moths start fluttering about. The little moth-erf******s were having a party in MY bedroom and I wasn't even invited. I called a friend to ask what I'm supposed to do but I keep interrupting him with worst-case scenarios involving waking up with my face half eaten by moths and he's all "I'm trying to comfort you and be supportive but you're making it difficult!" and I'm all "have you seen The Birds? They are just waiting for me to go to sleep so they can bring in the army and attack." then he's all "moths don't have razor beaks" and I'm all "you don't know that....shut up."
So I resolve to let them have my room for the night (hospitality is one of my gifts) and left the light on to contain them, and I slept on an air mattress in the living room. I woke up Sunday morning and right before I start getting ready for church, I decide it is a good idea to Google "moth infestations." Well church was placed on the back burner as I start freaking out about the moth party I allowed to happen the night before. I don't know much about moth parties, but if this one got crazy who knows how many eggs were laid and if there was larvae feasting on my clothes. Anxiety kicked into full swing (I am more and more my father's child) and I imagine the worst and immediately start re-washing all of my clothes and putting my wool jacket in the freezer (I work for a non-profit...I can't afford clothes...okay I can afford clothes but I'd rather spend my money on other stuff instead). I thought it was a good idea to read up on as many moth infestation horror stories I could find for tips (although none seemed to have a happy ending resulting in no more moths...). I also spent the better part of the sabbath murdering the stupid things but when I killed one, 2 more seemed to come out. Not only was I losing the battle, I was slowly losing my sanity (okay, slightly dramatic but it didn't seem so at the time). I called up work neighbor who came over to help calm me down. We took a walk around the block because I needed to be out of the house then she braved the war zone with me.
When we got into my room, each of us armed with a shoe, at first I thought the moths had gotten smarter. They were "stationed" in hard to squish places, unlike the ones I had been killing who just landed on walls. I was wondering how they could learn so quickly then it hit me.
I had been killing the dumb moths all day. They had sent in the front lines to see how I would respond and now the smarter ones were moving in. Even worse, by killing the dumb ones, I was only aiding in survival of the fittest which means only the smart moths are left to breed which will result in even smarter moths. Then what if these smarter moths learn how to develop razor beaks so they can become the 21st century birds. I mean, isn't remaking old movies the "in" thing right now?
Anyway, I did eventually learn that apparently this time each year miller moths are in a migratory pattern to higher elevation and this is the worst it's been in 5-6 years. Also they aren't the clothes eating kind - just a nuisance and everyone has stories of them flooding their houses.This did calm me down a bit (although I am in the processing of sealing off windows in my room and have yet to sleep in there since this weekend) but with my recent thought process of what the future holds for these things I'm still a bit uncomfortable. I guess I can at least take my jacket out of the freezer.
Colorado Springs score: 1 (-2 because NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT THE MOTH-ERF*****S)
Remember when I was getting all happy about the weather warming up? Well apparently in Colorado I'm not the only one who loves it. Moths apparently do, too. Saturday night I get home late and am exhausted, ready to climb into my bed when I turn on the light in my room and a SWARM of moths start fluttering about. The little moth-erf******s were having a party in MY bedroom and I wasn't even invited. I called a friend to ask what I'm supposed to do but I keep interrupting him with worst-case scenarios involving waking up with my face half eaten by moths and he's all "I'm trying to comfort you and be supportive but you're making it difficult!" and I'm all "have you seen The Birds? They are just waiting for me to go to sleep so they can bring in the army and attack." then he's all "moths don't have razor beaks" and I'm all "you don't know that....shut up."
So I resolve to let them have my room for the night (hospitality is one of my gifts) and left the light on to contain them, and I slept on an air mattress in the living room. I woke up Sunday morning and right before I start getting ready for church, I decide it is a good idea to Google "moth infestations." Well church was placed on the back burner as I start freaking out about the moth party I allowed to happen the night before. I don't know much about moth parties, but if this one got crazy who knows how many eggs were laid and if there was larvae feasting on my clothes. Anxiety kicked into full swing (I am more and more my father's child) and I imagine the worst and immediately start re-washing all of my clothes and putting my wool jacket in the freezer (I work for a non-profit...I can't afford clothes...okay I can afford clothes but I'd rather spend my money on other stuff instead). I thought it was a good idea to read up on as many moth infestation horror stories I could find for tips (although none seemed to have a happy ending resulting in no more moths...). I also spent the better part of the sabbath murdering the stupid things but when I killed one, 2 more seemed to come out. Not only was I losing the battle, I was slowly losing my sanity (okay, slightly dramatic but it didn't seem so at the time). I called up work neighbor who came over to help calm me down. We took a walk around the block because I needed to be out of the house then she braved the war zone with me.
When we got into my room, each of us armed with a shoe, at first I thought the moths had gotten smarter. They were "stationed" in hard to squish places, unlike the ones I had been killing who just landed on walls. I was wondering how they could learn so quickly then it hit me.
I had been killing the dumb moths all day. They had sent in the front lines to see how I would respond and now the smarter ones were moving in. Even worse, by killing the dumb ones, I was only aiding in survival of the fittest which means only the smart moths are left to breed which will result in even smarter moths. Then what if these smarter moths learn how to develop razor beaks so they can become the 21st century birds. I mean, isn't remaking old movies the "in" thing right now?
Anyway, I did eventually learn that apparently this time each year miller moths are in a migratory pattern to higher elevation and this is the worst it's been in 5-6 years. Also they aren't the clothes eating kind - just a nuisance and everyone has stories of them flooding their houses.This did calm me down a bit (although I am in the processing of sealing off windows in my room and have yet to sleep in there since this weekend) but with my recent thought process of what the future holds for these things I'm still a bit uncomfortable. I guess I can at least take my jacket out of the freezer.
Colorado Springs score: 1 (-2 because NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT THE MOTH-ERF*****S)
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Once Upon a Time IT WAS WAR
**Disclaimer: I just reread this and am aware of all the run-on sentences, quick pace, etc. This is what happens when I choose Mountain Dew from the vending machine when I meant to get Dr Pepper and work neighbor won't give me money to buy another one. I know work neighbor is going to be all "but you didn't ask me for more money so it's not my fault and oh by the way you're really pretty" but some things work neighbor's should just know amiright?**
Have I mentioned that I have asthma?
Yeah, I think it was a Christmas present in Kindergarten or something like that. A close secondbest gift ever would probably be when I found out I was allergic to paint in 7th grade. Won't ever forget priming for 3-4 hours straight one day then waking up the next day (my birthday) with a swollen splotchy face and going to the doctor's office. Going to the doctor's office was extra worse because until probably my senior year of high school I went to a pediatrician's office. During those impressionable teen years I felt so uncool sitting in a clown room. When I got my physical for track (I know not even kidding...I was on the track team for a season..."unfortunately" I had 2 foot surgeries which ended my running career...this'll come full circle eventually) they realized I was due for tetanus and hepatitis B shots. (Hepatitis B is the one everyone's supposed to get and there are like 3 of them, right? If not, I'm afraid I might've just really embarrassed myself). Well I have a fear of needles (I'm the most cautious person using a safety pin) so of course I start crying when they're giving me the shots, and I walked out of the pediatricians office crying with two bandaids and a sticker. You might be shocked to hear that I was not a cool kid in high school.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, asthma. My asthma is mostly environmentally induced. It wasn't severe so not a huge deal to grow up with. As long as I had my emergency inhaler around I was fine. However especially after reading/watching Lord of the Flies and seeing what Piggy(?) had to go through "sucks to your ass-mar!" I took it upon myself to stand up for him and others who would be made fun of by abusing the condition if I wanted to sleep in a couple of mornings or if they expected me to do something crazy during track practice (sometimes, they wanted me to run a full 400m then do it again after only having a few seconds to catch my breath). When I moved to Hawai'i where the environment doesn't really change (other than allergies, etc) I stopped wheezing or showing any signs of asthma and stopped carrying inhalers altogether. I was free. I had "grown out" of it.
Or. So. I. Thought.
Fast Forward to my recent move to the Springs. I decide to be a big girl and go play pick up ultimate when it was only in the high 30s. I pulled on these things Under Armour makes called "long sleeves" and "tights" to help achieve a fashion statement known as "layering." I put on a hat meant to actually keep my head warm and gloves and was ready to go. Only 3 of us showed up so we went to grab a beer (kind of the same thing as exercising...actually, I'm not even going to try and stretch that). I went home and was already dressed so I grabbed my old ipod and looked for "running" music. I figure a mix of Ciara and Bone Thugz n Harmony will have to do (don't judge me. I went through a lot of phases in college) and set out to pick back up my lost running career. I barely make it a half mile before I'm gasping for air and decide that's progress enough for the day and go back home. 3 hours later I was still wheezing and texted all 7 (yes, I had 7 friends by this time) of my friends to see who had an inhaler.
Well the weather is getting nicer so the wheezing has subsided a bit, but when we have the overnight 50 degree drops in day-to-day temperature I feel like the Springs atmosphere is just laughing at me. Excuuuse me if I take a beautiful 80 degree weekend followed by 30 degrees and snowfall as a personal attack on my breathing. Finally someone pulled through and got their hands on a couple inhalers so I should be fine now. You'll have to try harder, Colorado Springs. You definitely aren't making a friend out of me this way.
Colorado Springs score: 3 (-1 for false hope of springtime)
Have I mentioned that I have asthma?
Yeah, I think it was a Christmas present in Kindergarten or something like that. A close second
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, asthma. My asthma is mostly environmentally induced. It wasn't severe so not a huge deal to grow up with. As long as I had my emergency inhaler around I was fine. However especially after reading/watching Lord of the Flies and seeing what Piggy(?) had to go through "sucks to your ass-mar!" I took it upon myself to stand up for him and others who would be made fun of by abusing the condition if I wanted to sleep in a couple of mornings or if they expected me to do something crazy during track practice (sometimes, they wanted me to run a full 400m then do it again after only having a few seconds to catch my breath). When I moved to Hawai'i where the environment doesn't really change (other than allergies, etc) I stopped wheezing or showing any signs of asthma and stopped carrying inhalers altogether. I was free. I had "grown out" of it.
Or. So. I. Thought.
Fast Forward to my recent move to the Springs. I decide to be a big girl and go play pick up ultimate when it was only in the high 30s. I pulled on these things Under Armour makes called "long sleeves" and "tights" to help achieve a fashion statement known as "layering." I put on a hat meant to actually keep my head warm and gloves and was ready to go. Only 3 of us showed up so we went to grab a beer (kind of the same thing as exercising...actually, I'm not even going to try and stretch that). I went home and was already dressed so I grabbed my old ipod and looked for "running" music. I figure a mix of Ciara and Bone Thugz n Harmony will have to do (don't judge me. I went through a lot of phases in college) and set out to pick back up my lost running career. I barely make it a half mile before I'm gasping for air and decide that's progress enough for the day and go back home. 3 hours later I was still wheezing and texted all 7 (yes, I had 7 friends by this time) of my friends to see who had an inhaler.
Well the weather is getting nicer so the wheezing has subsided a bit, but when we have the overnight 50 degree drops in day-to-day temperature I feel like the Springs atmosphere is just laughing at me. Excuuuse me if I take a beautiful 80 degree weekend followed by 30 degrees and snowfall as a personal attack on my breathing. Finally someone pulled through and got their hands on a couple inhalers so I should be fine now. You'll have to try harder, Colorado Springs. You definitely aren't making a friend out of me this way.
Colorado Springs score: 3 (-1 for false hope of springtime)
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